carpefuckingdiem

never apologise, never explain

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Untitled by carpefuckingdiem, literature

Literature

Untitled

It is fine when you are the one to leave. You have your indignation for company, and the sense of being right and misunderstood. But when you are left, when you are abandoned at one am in a busy city full of people who you do not know, you have no shield, no comfort. The lie peels back like a bandage, exposing the sickly truth beneath: you are not loved. Yes there are those people, the ones you have taken home and promised the world, but they do not know the hurricane that spins and kills beneath the surface of your skin. You are nothing. She has lied to you. She has used you in the same way that you used

spoke the dawn by carpefuckingdiem, literature

Literature

spoke the dawn

daylight looms hungry over midnight avenue. i am writing poems about the stars and how i will never forget you. your face like a fist in my memory clutches at the strings of my heart, peels humble flesh and bone from inexhaustable soul. you are written onto my skin, indelible, unforgettable. my life is in limbo: transient, the nature of home ephemeral as the fleeting movement of strangers eyes across my face. i walk these same wreckless roads in each city i visit with shoes beaten down from pounding pavements all over the world. i live the way you always said i would: like it's all impermanent. tonight i

trace decay by carpefuckingdiem, literature

Literature

trace decay

there’s a trunk full of newspaper clippings that explain far better than I ever could the hollow madness that became of our lives all the homes and the headlines we made outside the courthouse in the rain with gaps in my memory like missing teeth and prison letters cluttering the mailbox before the silence came and unspoke the truth words caught like barbed wire in my throat and i could not give you any more, i am running in the opposite direction with my trunk full of bad journalism and memories drowning behind me like passengers on a ship riddled with holes

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Untitled by carpefuckingdiem, literature

Literature

Untitled

It is fine when you are the one to leave. You have your indignation for company, and the sense of being right and misunderstood. But when you are left, when you are abandoned at one am in a busy city full of people who you do not know, you have no shield, no comfort. The lie peels back like a bandage, exposing the sickly truth beneath: you are not loved. Yes there are those people, the ones you have taken home and promised the world, but they do not know the hurricane that spins and kills beneath the surface of your skin. You are nothing. She has lied to you. She has used you in the same way that you used

spoke the dawn by carpefuckingdiem, literature

Literature

spoke the dawn

daylight looms hungry over midnight avenue. i am writing poems about the stars and how i will never forget you. your face like a fist in my memory clutches at the strings of my heart, peels humble flesh and bone from inexhaustable soul. you are written onto my skin, indelible, unforgettable. my life is in limbo: transient, the nature of home ephemeral as the fleeting movement of strangers eyes across my face. i walk these same wreckless roads in each city i visit with shoes beaten down from pounding pavements all over the world. i live the way you always said i would: like it's all impermanent. tonight i

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Favourites

twenty-one by brokenfragilethings, literature

twenty-three by brokenfragilethings, literature

Bigger Words by SilverInkblot, literature

10 degrees of separation. by InklingsOfOblivion, literature

Things I would Tell Her--C. by betwixtthepages, literature

Literature

Things I would Tell Her--C.

I want to tell her the things I'll tell her when she’s older, but the information terrifies her. In order of importance: she has luna moths in her head, monarch butterflies in her stomach, and a feral fetus in her womb. Her hands are collapse-clasped and folded in her lap; she holds her elbows like wings away from her ribs, ready to flap, to flutter, to fly. I want to tell her to keep one hand in her purse so she can always find her keys, to keep an eye on the door and the door always open so she can run if she doesn't feel safe, but her cheeks are rorschach-splotch red and the tension in her shoulders warns me she's not ready to hea

a study in absolution by MisfitableGrae, literature

(c)loves and (c)lovers by Sammur-amat, literature

Literature

(c)loves and (c)lovers

i am no artist's muse, i am no ship's harbor i am no hero's weaker heel, i am no good earth's flower i have never been your lover nor have i ever kissed you, - not even once though i dream of you (c)love-scented, with lips shaped like a lucky (c)lover's- kissing you and to be kissed by you over and over i can never profess, not even confess note: even to myself i stay standing, (b)raving the cold nights, pretty much batty and bootless yet again, the absence of you weighs metric tons on my ringing ear, shivering nape, and repressed should

Cochineal and Beetle Wings by winterkate, literature

Literature

Cochineal and Beetle Wings

I don’t love you anymore. I was going to lead up to this. Maybe claim there was something caught in my throat about beetle wings, cochineal – you know, they make that stuff out of flight. Lipstick, I mean. I mean the truth is I can only smile like an inferno because something else isn’t going to be flying away. And I was going to say I’m sorry but I’m not. I was going to lie to you like you needed me to, but pray tell me how to grace through three weeks I hoped for some kind(ness) of hurricane, so we could recalculate in the aftermath, and nobody would blame me then for judging that we came up empty.

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About carpefuckingdiem

Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

Deviant for 11 years
She / Her

Badges

Super Llama: Llamas are awesome! (29)

Favourite Movies

Gia

Favourite TV Shows

L Word

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Shawn Colvin, Ray Lamontagne, Van Morrison, Ryan Adams, Damien Rice, Paper Aeroplanes, Foo Fighters,

Favourite Books

Paint it black, madness, the unbearable lightness of being

Favourite Writers

Janet Fitch, James Baldwin, Milan Kundera, Marya Hornbacher

Favourite Games

the do-something-you've-never-done-before game.

Tools of the Trade

ories

Posts

carpefuckingdiem

I'm insane.

0 min read

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carpefuckingdiem

I'm too old for this shit.

0 min read

From the age of ten I've felt as though I'm constantly being compared to prettier friends, measured up against them and repeatedly being dismissed as not good enough, average, or the ugly one.  It's not paranoia, it's true.   When I was ten I was this chubby kid with a massive forehead who developed too fast and had zits before anybody else.   When I was twelve, I didn't realise tying your hair up every day made you look hideous, so I did it.  Boys would ask me out, and I'm pretty certain it was just for a laugh, as in let's ask out that ugly girl so that when she says yes we can laugh at her.  I said no, sometimes with a snigger or a laugh

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carpefuckingdiem

Random Life Update (I'm starting a blog!)

0 min read

So some things have been happening (of course things always do).  One such thing is that I have a shiny new job which I start in five days, however I'm cripplingly anxious about it as it is PR work - something which requires a lot more social skills than I possess.   Another happening has been that I've started a 30 day challenge - to wake up before 9am each day.  Add to that the lack of drinking that August will bring (full time PR work is EXHAUSTING so my social life will have to be limited to weekends only, I think) and the fact that I'm Really Really Trying with the whole healthy eating thing (aka managing 5-a-day no both

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Profile Comments 44

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thank you for the watch

Thank you for the watch ^.^

carpefuckingdiem

much welcome

Hey~~

Just wanted to thank you for the fave!

Also, since I'm currently focusing on music, I was wondering if you'd be interested in supporting me in that endeavor of mine?

If you are, I can link you to where you can find that stuff!

carpefuckingdiem

sure thing, always happy to support fellow artists in any way i can! just let me know how i can help

Okay!

Here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEbreA…

Let me know what you think

Thank you for the fave and devWatch